Stop Hurting Yourself: Learning not to get offended

Some people are more easily offended than others. You can learn how to let go of offense and free yourself from unnecessary pain.

Have you ever said something that offended someone but you did not mean it the way that they thought you meant it? Did you ever feel hurt before you knew all the facts about a situation? Part of the reason why some people are so easily offended is because of insecurity. Most times there is little or no reason to feel hurt besides the fact that we have chosen to take something to heart that we did not have to. The reality is that we have control over how much we allow others to hurt us. We can experience less emotional pain if we choose not to be offended.

Forgiving Others Brings Healing to Yourself

How easily do you forgive people? Many individuals have held on the bitterness and anger for years after an offense has occurred. Staying upset at someone only festers the wound in your own heart. The other person is living their life without any worries about what you are torturing yourself over.

While you may have every right to be angry about the wrong that someone has done, you need to let it go. Forgiveness does not condone what they did and it does not have to put you in the position for them to do the same thing to you again. What forgiveness truly will do for you is heal you and take the power of that pain away so that your heart can be at peace.

It’s Not Them, It’s You

Do you find that you are offended often? Some people act as if the entire world is against them all the time and no one truly loves them. It seems that every little thing that happens proves to them that they are not truly loved and they seem to be hurt about something all the time. If this is you, it is time to let go of the pain and start realizing that you are loved. It is much harder for others, however, to show that love to someone who would readily accuse them of not caring enough.

Here are some tips that can free you from constantly being offended and help to heal your pain:

Don’t jump to conclusions. Think about things logically and calm yourself. Talk it over with the possible offender by asking them what they meant when they said what they said or why they did what they did. Do not accuse them outright and be willing to listen and forgive.

Sometimes you might feel wounded about something, but it might be a minor thing that doesn’t even need to be addressed. There are some offenses that are errors of the mind and not the heart. You know that they probably did not intend to hurt you. If it truly is important and needs to be addressed, do so. If it is something small just let it pass. Journal about it or pray and then release it.

If you are struggling with insecurities, this might be the root of the pain that you believe is coming from the words and actions of others. You have to truly love yourself in order to be loving and understanding; so that others would trust their love even when they do wrong. Meet with a trusted loved one or a professional to talk about the reasons why you may be insecure and how you might overcome this.

It is up to you to stop getting so offended. Now is the time to be the stronger person and live in love and forgiveness. Your wounds will heal in time and new hurts will be farther and fewer in between.

By Chesley Maldonado
Published: 7/26/2010
ref: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/stop-hurting-yourself-learning-to-get-over-offense.html

Update: Cure for being offended:
“To be honest, I don’t know much about psycho-surgery but I do know if you change how you think about others criticisms, you’ll change how you feel about them. Choose (and yes, it’s a choice) to feel less affected by what others say. You have no control over what others say, but you do have control over how you think and feel about it.

Accept that others will have opinions that aren’t always in line with how you think or feel. This doesn’t mean that you’re wrong in your opinion and it doesn’t mean they’re criticizing you. It just means that their opinion is different. And that’s all it means. They’re not saying that you’re wrong or any less than them.” Rick
“I think it should be possible, if you can surrender your ego” Naguru
ref: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20111217163253AAHcCVt