fav. Jokes

x Love Laugh and Light-up your Life x

Some Great Comedians:

Steve Martin

Jim Carrey

Simon Amstell

Bill Hicks

Billy Connolly

Robin Williams

Jokes lol : )

Q. How does Bill Gates enter his house?

A. He uses “windows”.

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Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Lettuce!

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, its cold out here!

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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on
the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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A person was weeding their yard and accidentally cut off the tail of their cat which was hiding in the grass.
The cat was rushed along with the tail, over to TESCO’S
Why TESCO’S
HELLOOOOOOOOO?
TESCO’S
is the largest re-tailer in THE UK

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. “Hey,” he says, “What’s with the steering wheel down your pants?” “Ach,” says the Irish man, “it’s drivin’ me nuts!”

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Never criticize someone unless you walk a mile in his or her shoes, and then when you criticize them you’ll be a mile away and have their shoes!

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Arj Barker Sickest Buddhist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gCU5uplB4A&feature=player_embedded

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What do you call some bears with no ears?

B
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Answers of a student who obtained 0%:

Q. In which battle did Tipu Sultan die?
A. His last battle.

Q. Where was the Declaration of Independance Signed?
A. At the Bottom of the Page.

Q. Ganga flows in which state?
A. Liquid.

Q. Whats the main reason for Divorce?
A. Marriage.

Q. Whats the main reason for Failure?
A. Examinations…

or should s/he have had 100% ;  ) lol

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Why did Mickey Mouse go to space? ………………… To visit Pluto

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What do sheep have in the summer?

Baa-baacues!

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